Bang! Bang!
Bang went the gun.
Bang! Bang! My ears rang. My eyes smarted from the sulphur.
My nostrils inhaled the carbon of the gunpowder residue.
As I fell to the floor the pain in my shoulder was murder .
I had held the gun to my right shoulder just like I was told to by the guy who sold me the gun.
“No problem mate” ,he said to me when i asked him to assure me this gun would do the job I had planned for it .
I lay on the floor in agony ,i thought I would die, my ears still ringing like church bells on a Sunday morning .
Where's the bloody gun ?I cant see it !
My eyes are burning like a fire in hell .Cant see a thing .
No gun ! Cant see or hear and I've got this stinking smell in my nose .What a pain in the arse .
Whack in my side !A big size 14 boot. “What's your game dickhead” ? Came this rumbling voice .It sound like a bull with its balls caught on a wire fence .
It sure cleared my ears !Now I had a pain in my side from the big boot “I've got nothing to say” ,I said in the strongest voice I could muster .
Whack went the boot again . I tried to stand up but my shoulder was shattered .I was a stuffed like a lettuce at a Greek wedding.
“Look ”here you brainless goose” ,said the owner of the size 14 boot .”Get up on your feet now” !
“Mate I'm done like a ceremonial dinner at a head-hunters reunion! I cant get up” .With that this ape grabbed me by the hair and heaved me to my feet .
I swung my good arm as hard as I could and caught him right in his big fat jelly — like guts .
My punch ,if you can call it that ,was to no avail. There was no steam in it .
My body was in serve pain ,not a part that didn't hurt .
The jelly -gutted size 14 booted dickhead threw me against the wall, and as I hit the wall I slid down it and landed on my bum .
Whack! Another boot ,this time right in my guts .”What are you doing here? Why did you shoot the gun” ?I said nothing .
There was a long pause .Jelly- guts said nothing .The only sound was my moaning as I sat up against the wall, in what I can only describe as excruciating pain ,Something like your hand going through a meat mincer .
Get the Picture ?
Sirens, blue lights , my mind started to whirl like a spinning- top out of control.
Next thing I knew I was on my back on a stretcher with a medical officer asking me my name .”Stuff my name what about the pain, hell, I am in agony”!
The size 14 boot man was very busy giving the cops a rundown what he believed to be the situation .
No bloody idea! The cops were carrying out their duties like a flock of seagulls fighting over a chip.
“We've got his gun” ,said the cop to jelly guts. “yes” said jelly guts .
You wouldn't have to be Einstein to have worked that out, I thought to myself. I couldn't wait to hear what came next ! “The gun has been fired” ,said Constable Plod .”What a wonderful deduction my dear Watson”, I said to myself .
“We've got a gun that has been fired ,and badly injured man who will not talk to us .No other person involved”.
“Do we know who owns the gun” ? said the constable to jelly guts, who it turned out is a security guard for the building I was in .
“No”, he said “I assumed it was his” .And he pointed to me as if I was a prized heifer at the royal show .
In the mean time the first aid lady had completed her assessment of my injures and was informing the constable .
“He is in a lot of pain from what I believe to is a broken collar -bone on his right shoulder , and may have broken ribs and internal stomach soreness, and I would like to move him to the hospital” .
“Thank the lord”, I said to myself . “Do we have a name for this guy” asked Constable Plod of the first aid lady .
“No”, she said .”He wont talk to me” .
Bloody oath I'm not talking .
AFTER ALL .WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL THEM ?
THAT I CAME HERE TO THIS UNUSED WAREHOUSE TO SHOOT PIDGEIONS ?
